Ngicing'uBeauty

Sawubona ngicinga uBeauty
Ingabe ula?

Tracking back to when I last saw her
The tracking moves further and further away from this time and space
Ngizithola ngilangazelela omunye umhlaba
Enye indawo
Esinye iskhathi

These days she seems to faintly appear but only in dreams
Real dreams , fake dreams, sold dreams, bought dreams, exchanged dreams, sacrificed dreams....
All these dreams coming through a form of a man
a charming man
a fickle man
Might be dangerous man...

These days she haunts me though
Ucela imisebenzi  
Ucela ukukhunjulwa
Ucela ukunakekekelwa
Ufisa ukuziveza
Ngaphandle kosizo lwalamadoda

Ufuna ukuqhakaza      

Ngiyamuzwa
Ngiyalizwa iphimbo lakhe lihlabelela imilonji emtoti Imilonji yothando
Imilonji yokuphila
Imilonji evusa imizwa

She is rising, Oh she is rising
Watch Out
Beauty is rising
From 9 feet underground she is rising
Now on 1st foot.
Oh My feet can feel a tingling
Her rumbling vibrats via  my heart space through to my tongue space

Shaking off her shame she slowly resurrects in me.  
I open myself
Yes!!! Ngena Beauty
Oh! she places herself in me like a missing puzzle.

She is beautiful  Soooo beautiful
Muhle                                  
I am beautiful
We are beautiful

Welcome Beauty
Wamkelekile
You've been resting for far too long
Would you like some tea?  
"Yes dear" she replies "namaqebelengwane only you can make!"  

Our eyes fix, her story is my story
We sing the night away
Imizuzu iba ngamahora
Amahora aba yizinsuku Izinsuku ziba iminyaka
Iminyaka iba inguna phakade

Ngimtholile ufikile and she is here to stay!

A random shadow appears it looks like a man
Oh NO, it's that "might be dangerous man"
I ask "Askies bhuti uthini?"
He mumbles something I can't quite hear
I reply "No I won't be needing you Today Tomorrow or Ever I have company...."

Beauty giggles in me😜

I am light.

I wonder I search deep Go deep into my memorial archives as I clumsily do a plié at the great  Adele Blanks Master Class organised by the Department of Arts and Culture as part of an incubator programme they have sponsored. Here I am, an incubated incubatee feeling hot and bothered like the incubated chickens my father sold, with one question on my mind ,how did these two left flat feet and rythmless shoulders scam their way into the dance world?  I don't understand how for years my name has been associated with the dance world, a world at most times I absolutely detest.  I fail to understand what I'm doing here? I keep consoling myself by pliéing deeper and messing up my worn and torn right knee.
"How did I get here?" keeps throbbing in my head.....
Perhaps I once upon a time charmed a critic or in my previous life  mocked a pas de deux and  I must now pay for all my sins recent and ancient.
Should I just interrupt this class and yell "wait a minute department of arts and culture, I fucken hate contemporary dance especially the trying to fly part" oh but wait I will yet again be diverting attention back to myself and shitting on "holy cows" my what at this moment I think is my claim to fame "complaining and shitting on "holy cows" or worse run the risk of ever being funded let alone employed.
Ek hou my bek and endure on with one thing at my defence my poor pride.
Lest it be bruised I will have to retaliate with a new creation dissing all things contemporary.

In my beyond tired state I breathe in down 12345678 up 12345678 and pop, I am redeemed sanctified re-membered and re-baptised in the holy name of dance. Truly breathing is magic. A trick I learnt from dance

I realise that dance whether I've pulled it off or not in my own personal capacity, it has given a mouthpiece to express and explore that which I could never explain.
It's given me a language only known by my sacred spaces. It's allowed me to be so angry, so happy,so mad, so in love to the point of no return. I thank the Dance Gods, kiss my worn and torn knees, tuck in, play India Aire's "I am light" shake my feathers and drive my sticky ass to yet another DANCE rehearsal...




"I Am Light"
I am light, I am light [x4]

I am not the things my family did
I am not the voices in my head
I am not the pieces of the brokenness inside

I am light, I am light [x4]

I'm not the mistakes that I have made 
or any of the things that caused me pain
I am not the pieces of the dream I left behind

I am light, I am light [x4]

I am not the color of my eyes
I am not the skin on the outside
I am not my age, I am not my race, 
my soul inside is all light
All light, all light [x2]

I am light, I am light [x2]

I am divinity definedI am the God on the inside
I am a star, a piece of it all
I am light

Isikhathi ...

Sekuyisikhathi nokho yagcinana
Unyaka uphelile
Izifiso zishitshile
Amaphupho afezekile
Kwaze kwafika amasha...

Thokozani...

Whilst chasing time
For the first time
Time stood and confronted me straight in the eye
She said "hey you
what you doing over there following me trying to play catch up with me."
She slammed banged me in the face
Mind you she isn't very polite
Presenting herself as black as night with smoke signals and fumes chocking my lungs
She repeated "hey you get off my back you too close"

Bang bang bang she kicked me.
I crawled up to her feet begging for a chance to take me back .
But she moves hey, faster than fast
She moves like iqhikiza that she is
Thick legs with heavy izigi
Shaking her ass she moves her waist made of springs.
I like her cause
She warns you giving you ample opportunity to slow down and not step on her izithende.

She says "listen ngizokushaya, pick a fight with me uzobona umhlola."

She is such a temper freak this Goddess of time you would swear she was stood up at the alter.

Unolaka akafuni ukulandelwa eduzane Incase her many lovers accuse her of cheating she runs phambili light years ahead
Spinning around like iginsa fixing his need

She dissappears leaving me behind with aches and pains black and blues fears and illusions
Thoughts and wondering what the hell was u thinking chasing timeless time

The journey between Feeling and Knowing......my love diary entry.

....exactly 10 years ago whilst deeply engrossed in Peter Gabriel's DVD of one of his magnificent concerts, I had  a sudden feel to one day direct conceptual concerts in Mzansi.

I never forgot this desire instead I locked it safely in my desire compartment and left it there for the Gods to handle.

On the 29th of June 2014 I bumped into Dr Simo Lushaba a brother, angel and mentor who would  become the bridge between a moment and that very specific 10yr old desire. His proposition changed my perspective forever.

To cut a long process short imagine... 9 Maskandi groups, each group comes with close to 10 dancers and back up singers , 2 weeks to put together a musical theatre show/ launch, where these maskandi artists would have to double up as actors. Direction by a 32yr old black female who has absolutely zero knowledge of Maskandi music culture and struggles immensely with her own very basic knowledge of existence as a Zulu woman in this space called the world....

now with panic systems good to go the only thing that can save us is Flight or Fight, we all choose to Fight and boy did we all Fight.

We fight for our presence to be recognised in things termed "izinto zabelungu noma abantu abafundile" But most of all we fight to understand and to be understood. Now I find that to understand is not always easy because it requires that "AHA!" moment  (made famous by Miss Winfrey) only recognised if one is willing to search. My Christianised mind starts to seek with confidence to find ,  to refuse to conform instead opt for transformation through the renewal of my mind.

Dare I say that I am in trouble already as I am now on an intellectual/ ego trip. I quickly realise that I would have to ask the Intellectual/ Ego taxi to drop me off at home because my heart is what I will need to cope with this mammoth task.

I go home to my heart to search and never have I found such love during a creation. I learn the extent of colonisation that has taken place in my body, I learn that a mind is not a natural organ but rather a concept, I learn that the only reason I went to school was to teach myself  thanks to Kgafela who makes me aware of this opinion. I learn that knowing and feeling are different emotions used for different purposes and for this purpose I learn that I would have to feel more than I know.

On the 19th of September during a disastrous final dress where the drummer fails to pitch I realise gazing from the lighting booth that I was totally out of order to expect these amazing artists to act to feel,  to them what inhibits them is either alive or dead, they can either feel or not feel but one thing they cannot do is pretend to feel. At that moment I realised that I had to quickly revisit my so called professional education that taught my mind to act feeling and  acknowledge that perhaps this was not the truth for this particular moment.

Conclusions drawn, probably indefinite as life is a long  masterclass...

• Art to the African was never a vocation but rather an expression of worship and feeling

• Truth for the African can only be acquired when he decides to consult with his heart.  The drum therefore serves as the heartbeat.

• I think in English because my mind is made in English therefore it often has the tendency to react in an Anglicised manner causing a lot of conflict within myself and those I interact with.

• I am afraid that Africa might be a concept doomed towards extinction however if we continue to breathe to live, the Truth will always be a part of us.

• I am alive because I can feel and also think however thoughts are defined and influenced by the circumstances surrounding a human being.
• Africa is probably a desperate concept, a concept I am most desperate for.

I wonder if I should have published this ....

Welcome to Sof'town Magic...  Come in chill with us, It don't matter who we pretend to be



Imiyalelo eyishumi neskhombisa My Manifesto My Commandments

My name is Hlengiwe Lushaba Madlala
Briefly meaning I am a Redeemed Elephant Hijacked by the Spirit of  Play... It is by no coincidence that I find myself in this position....

I am an African Child living in the world, living in several time zones, therefore constantly clashing with the now.
with that being said my Manifesto begins...

 

 

Thou shalt constantly seek Dignity, Dignity of Self and the other

 

Thou shalt always speak your truth and not the truth of your funders

 

Thou shalt be inspired but never steal another artists idea and make it yours without acknowledging the act of stealing and from who it was stolen from.

 

Though shalt make work considering that you have invited people from wherever, they could have stayed there and continued with their lives.

 

Thou shalt not waste your time and other peoples time

 

Thou shalt give thanks and appreciation where its due

 

Thou shalt never be afraid to play

 

Thou shalt remember your era and that which came before yours, keeping in mind the one to come

 

Thou shalt never discourage those wishing to engage with this journey perhaps they come with a skelm key

 

Thou shalt remember Adrienne Sichel's words "Be Honest and Be aware of Self Censoring"

 

Thou shalt remember Khosi Adromat Buthelezi's words "Konke okwenzayo uzenzela wena"

 

Thou shalt remember some Random guys words in Austria " We are not driving buses"

 

Thou shalt consult the Great Spirit whenever you create as it created you

 

Thou shalt try very hard never to impose your art onto other peoples art (this comes with great difficulty) this commandment reminds me of the one about loving your neighbour as you love yourself

 

Thou shalt Live and let Life

 

Thou shalt take care of your team players and check your intention

 

 

Thou shalt continue revising this Manifesto as its only a thought within a moment.

 

 Photo taken by Sdu Majola in Kinshasa

Sehnsucht nach dem Paradies

Esther Boldt interviews Hlengiwe Lushaba

 How did you become a dancer?

Either it catches you or not, you are born with it or not, and then of course you can learn it. With my "flat left feet" I already danced as a kid at the age of four, one had no choice but to because the music was too good to ignore. I studied at the Durban Institute of Technology my initial understanding of the arts was very commercial, all I knew was television and I just wanted to become a star. Luckily, our teacher Jay Pather introduced us to interesting ways of engaging with performance, of thinking about art, There was a curiosity to learn how to tell a  story differently, how to explore images and how to deal with the self.

You are a dancer, singer, choreographer and an actress. How do these things or languages come together?

I am an artist. I use whichever language I need to tell the story I want to tell in the space needed.

The main question I’ve been obsessed with when creating is “how to give the African human his dignity back?” and I experiment with finding this dignity for myself first. In my daily existance it is really hard to do,

(so let’s try it in the arts??) :

Art becomes my solace.

How could that happen?

I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like it exposes my vulnerability, like putting my insides out. And the inside is not always pretty, it could be defined as ugly, many say it is not dignified, However it is beautiful. Thus Hlengiwe is constantly conflicting in trying to find this so called “dignity”. I search for it every day, because it hurts. Every day you wake up with a conscious division, and it is the story of the inferior man. It is the constant search for paradise.

What did you mean by being displaced?

For example: There is this home I have occupied since as far as I can remember, love dearly and whose rules I know and follow. But then someone comes and takes this home saying: “I live here now you will need to be my tenant”. I then end up being a stranger in my own home, in my own body, in my own spirit.

I know that there is something very wrong with this picture; we have to find it, rip it out, for the sake of our humanity.

How did you come to join DDA?

How I came to DDA is really funny, because I am an artist from South Africa and I am here through the recommendation of Faustin Linyekula a Congolese artist, who is the artistic director at Studios Kabako in Kisangani DRC.

Studios Kabako helped produce this work. My collaborator Sdu Majola and I felt that this work needed a Congolese voice so we approached Studios Kabako who then gave us a month long residency in Kisangani to explore the work with two other Congolese artists Pepe Lecoq and Franck Moka.  There is a wall, there is a border on stage, we sometimes catch ourselves colonizing each other artistically. We are our parent’s children, they are leading the carriage, and only after 20 years of democracy, we find ourselves thinking to be superior to our neighbors with 50 years of independence. How we respond to this urge is interesting? Do we allow ourselves to be victims? All these questions come to play.

In your piece “Paradise Road/ Highway to Heaven” you are dealing with the Congo Conference. Why?

We were playing with the idea: What would happen if we all are present in the Congo Conference? Who are the black bodies that were never invited ? We try to invite all of these spirits to help us, our Grandparents, whose hands were cut off because they couldn’t make enough rubber, Bismarck

and?..... His political friends

On stage, are black bodies on a white space and white corridors on a black space, white faces on black bodies and black faces on black bodies.  The presence of the nigger is felt he tries to contain himself but his Spirit is felt. The Congo Conference happened, it continues to happen unless we acknowledge its flaws it will always define us.

How did you creat the different characters on stage?

Miss Africa is the main character. She is the base of every character explored on that space. Four performers hide behind masks as presenting this story as themselves could be too hurting and maybe dangerous. We are trying to be good niggers. We are really trying to be good niggers, dancing, popping, and playing with this clichés that come out. All that’s missing is a sunset, a woman with something on her head, the sounds of birds… I sometimes wish I could live in this place, it sounds so pretty. I long to be there someday.

But as you say in your performance: “Paradies, c’est fini.” Are you blaming your grandparents for having been a good host?

I myself have to be a good host in this country in order to make money, to have basic needs, to have people invest in me, to host the World cup 2010. But if we all pretend that things are okay, the guilt will haunt us, the shame will haunt us. We need to talk about this thing, we haven’t effectively started and we are still sugar coating some really bitter truths. My Grandparents did what they could with what they had, I need to do the same. I have consciousness and courage on my side it should count for something.

Obviously, there are references in the work someone in Germany does not understand. Is this a problem?

The work is about how we feel as performers we honor the story and we share it, it does not have to make German sense. We sometimes don’t have to use our intellect to understand as our Spirit transcends that which we have been taught at school.  As human beings we also don’t have to know everything, we don’t have to understand everything, and that’s okay. Open up and let the work touch you and your life however it needs to. There is a work titled “Baron Samedi” that I have been a part of for the last 3 years after seeing it, some lady said: “I don’t believe in God, but after this work I now believe in people” If there is one thing touching you, it is plenty.

 

 

 

 

working title: reminiscence. presence and dreams of the future

Ok! Ok, its been a while since I put probably my feeble thoughts to keypad.....
I am tempted to write in isiZulu, I feel English has taken over my life, my thoughts, my views, my dreams and prayers. So today I chose to dance with my mother tongue.... here goes !!! Wish me all the best.... Hope I don't step on her toes...

Lolusuku lwanamuhla lungikhumbuza an eclipse ( oh oh here goes Mr English forcing his entry...) ngixolele. well lungikhumbuza unyaka ka 1992 ngise Whetstone Primary school, unyaka lapho indlela yami yangicacela. Ngangihleli eklasini ngilalele uThisha ekhuluma ngescience,  ngikhumbula ukuthi imicabango yami yayingekho lapho yayizulile isemaphuphweni ami. Ngisahleli kulesisimo semicabango ngikhumbula ngibuka ngaphandle kwe fastela. O amehlo ami ayengakaze ayibone into efana nale. Kwakusemini kodwa ubumnyama bongamele usuku. Inhliziyo yami yayithukile, umqondo wami omncane udidekile namehlo ami abuthaka engazi noma asefinyelele ekugcineni kwempilo yawo...
Lokhu kwangishaqisa ngezwa ngifikelwa ukwesaba. Ngaqala ngathandaza umthandazo omncane owawuthi " uma Nkosi usuzolanda ibandla lakho ngicela ungangikhohlwa nami" Ngamcela uNkulunkulu ukuthi angixolele kuzo zonke izono zami. Ngalesosikhathi zazibukeka zinkulu kuneminyaka yami kodwa uma ngibheka emuva, isono sami kwakunguvalo ngoba ngalolosuku ngalwamukela loluvalo lwaba inxenye yempilo yami. Sekuyiminyaka ngilwisana naloluvalo nokwesaba...

Uvalo lokungafinyeleli lapho uMvelinqangi angibizele khona ngenxa yokona, uvalo lokungaphumeleli ngenxa yenvelaphi yami, uvalo lokuzenyeza, uvalo lokukhuluma okufiswa inhliziyo yami, uvalo lokungafinyeleli emaphuphweni ami, uvalo lokushiyeka ngedwa ngasemuva, uVALO LOKUVUMA INDLELA YAMI...

Iminyaka isidlulile selokhu lobumnyama bavakashela impilo yami. Okuningi kwenzekile mhlawumbe kuqhutshwa ukwesaba kwami kodwa uMusa Womdala Wezinsuku awuzange uvume lokhu kwesaba kuyithabathe impilo yami. Loluvalo lunginika amandla okubuza imibuzo eminingi esemqondweni yami ngendlela ehlukile nejulile., Angimemezi kakhulu ngomlomo wami ngenxa yokwesaba ukuthi ngingahle ngizithole ngisenkingeni kodwa ngimemeza ngezandla nangezinyawo zami khona uma kukhona omelene nokumemeza kwami kungalula kuye ukuthi acabange ukuthi lokumemeza kwami okomuntu ongenamqondo....

Bese ngiyazibuza, buyini ubudlelwane bokuKhanya nobuMnyama, ubudlelwane bokunqoba nokwehluleka, ubudlelwane bobuvaka nobuqhawe, ubudlelwane bokwesaba nesibindi.... Izwi elincane elijwayele ukungivakashela liyangiphendula lithi "ukuze kubatshazwe amandla akhe"

...........mmmmh now that is Courage!!!