I am light.

I wonder I search deep Go deep into my memorial archives as I clumsily do a plié at the great  Adele Blanks Master Class organised by the Department of Arts and Culture as part of an incubator programme they have sponsored. Here I am, an incubated incubatee feeling hot and bothered like the incubated chickens my father sold, with one question on my mind ,how did these two left flat feet and rythmless shoulders scam their way into the dance world?  I don't understand how for years my name has been associated with the dance world, a world at most times I absolutely detest.  I fail to understand what I'm doing here? I keep consoling myself by pliéing deeper and messing up my worn and torn right knee.
"How did I get here?" keeps throbbing in my head.....
Perhaps I once upon a time charmed a critic or in my previous life  mocked a pas de deux and  I must now pay for all my sins recent and ancient.
Should I just interrupt this class and yell "wait a minute department of arts and culture, I fucken hate contemporary dance especially the trying to fly part" oh but wait I will yet again be diverting attention back to myself and shitting on "holy cows" my what at this moment I think is my claim to fame "complaining and shitting on "holy cows" or worse run the risk of ever being funded let alone employed.
Ek hou my bek and endure on with one thing at my defence my poor pride.
Lest it be bruised I will have to retaliate with a new creation dissing all things contemporary.

In my beyond tired state I breathe in down 12345678 up 12345678 and pop, I am redeemed sanctified re-membered and re-baptised in the holy name of dance. Truly breathing is magic. A trick I learnt from dance

I realise that dance whether I've pulled it off or not in my own personal capacity, it has given a mouthpiece to express and explore that which I could never explain.
It's given me a language only known by my sacred spaces. It's allowed me to be so angry, so happy,so mad, so in love to the point of no return. I thank the Dance Gods, kiss my worn and torn knees, tuck in, play India Aire's "I am light" shake my feathers and drive my sticky ass to yet another DANCE rehearsal...




"I Am Light"
I am light, I am light [x4]

I am not the things my family did
I am not the voices in my head
I am not the pieces of the brokenness inside

I am light, I am light [x4]

I'm not the mistakes that I have made 
or any of the things that caused me pain
I am not the pieces of the dream I left behind

I am light, I am light [x4]

I am not the color of my eyes
I am not the skin on the outside
I am not my age, I am not my race, 
my soul inside is all light
All light, all light [x2]

I am light, I am light [x2]

I am divinity definedI am the God on the inside
I am a star, a piece of it all
I am light